When I was five years old, I hid in our spare bathroom and tried to wee standing up. After all, that’s how all my friends did it. Except me; I had to sit down. This upset me. I just wanted to be like my friends. I imagined wowing them all the next day when I, too, could stand with the best of them. I knew what I was doing was somehow “wrong” – though I wasn’t sure exactly why – so I hid in the spare bathroom, the one no one really used. But my mother did catch me, and when she saw me her face contorted into a look of absolute fury and disgust. I scrambled to pull my pants up as quickly as possible. “What are you doing?” she screamed, ordering me to stop...
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